Shirt Shop

Shirts: Because You Probably Can’t Go Around Naked

Click on the design to see what’s available! Most items can be ordered in multiple colors. If you’d like the design on a product that’s not yet available, let me know at nick at and I’ll make it available if at all possible.

NEW!! – Undead Teenage Mothers

Man, I saw these guys one time. Best show of my life. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a chick play the xylophone on her exposed ribcage. They don’t play during the day because the vampire bassist would disintegrate in the sunlight. But that zombie babe they have on lead guitar, WOW. And so what if things occasionally fall off when she flashes the crowd? Great souvenirs, I say!

As seen in this comic.

Zombie Kid Loves Turtles

When I woke up this morning, I set out to get a story. A powerful story about a kid who got his face painted like a zombie and had fun at the Waterfront Village. But as any good reporter knows, sometimes the story comes to you. This child’s journey, and his love for those thick-shelled amphibians, is a tale for the ages.

As seen in this comic.

Spartan Condoms

300 spermicidal warriors against an unstoppable horde of semen!

As seen in this comic (NSFW).

Band You’ve Never Heard Of

You see this shirt? This is a manifestation of my superior taste in music to you. This band is so great it hasn’t even begun to sell out and get played in the elevators and doctors’ offices where you mundane types get your new music. And sure, maybe I haven’t heard of some of the crappy bands you’re into, but don’t fool yourself. We are not the same.

As seen in this comic.


When I was a kid, I almost hatched a plan to go through school beating up dudes and learning martial arts moves from books. Then I found out that bullies don’t turn into coins when you punch them. They just punch back. Hard.

As seen in this comic.

I Cross Platforms

I’m a Mac. I’m a PC. I’m a… penguin or something.

Why pigeonhole yourself into one operating system when a true geek is equally comfortable in front of anything with a keyboard and a screen?

As seen in this comic.

We Run This City

Wherever I go, I know I can count on you to be there for me. And with you by my side, nothing can stop me. Anywhere can be a bathroom if you believe in yourself. We own the night.

As seen in this comic.

Check back often for new designs!

54 Responses

  1. Lando says:

    I have no life to be up this late lol but I agree Woo Shirts!

  2. Oberon says:

    So, what’s up with the screen clipping? I’m running at 2048 x 1152, and the right side of the shirts pages are all clipped. I see “Products 1 to 3 of” and the $ only, no amount is visible.

    • Nick Wright says:

      Works great in Chrome, Firefox, and Internet Explorer on PC and FF, Chrome and Safari on Mac at my house. Even Dolphin on my Android phone.

      Maybe you need to update your Java?

  3. Jack says:

    “Wandering Mongrels” up in this mother.

  4. Dave says:

    …is it really sensible to make a tshirt based on River City Ransom?

    I’m pretty sure that’s still, you know, copyrighted.

    • Nick Wright says:

      The image is an original composition, the company that made the game is out of business, and even with that considered, I’m not using the game title. If I find out otherwise I’ll pull it, but I think I’m okay.

  5. sm4ck says:

    I’d go for the cross platforms shirt – but I can’t wear anything with an apple logo on it. Unless you could put a big red cross through it :) that would be awesome.

  6. MeestaShane says:

    So how long until the “I like turtles” tee?

  7. Tony McGirr says:

    I must have the band you’ve never heard of one.

  8. Jeremy says:

    I think the “band you’ve never heard of” shirt would be just a tidbit funnier if it was a v neck :) just sayin

  9. Jack says:

    Now that I’ve looked at them and thought about it, I definetly want most of them. I just realized what I see missing. Wheres the “Treading Ground” shirt? Either with the character/s or big logo or something like that?

  10. Jack says:

    Addendum. IF you are putting characters on a shirt…Arne!

  11. Rustcrust says:

    Nothing would be more likely to have me violently throwing money at you than a Pervous shirt. WATCHA COOKIN TODAY?! With that intense expression. Or ‘you mad a’ me?’ Or I WANNA MAKE A BABY! I would buy one for every day of the week. Pervous cracks me the hell up.

    • Ozzie says:

      I would SO buy a Purvous “I wanna make a baby!” panel shirt. Seriously. I would buy two, in case my first one got a hole in it.

  12. Jesy Blue says:

    new to the comic, followed the add from Manage a 3, powered through it on my day off, love you to death now, gonna buy “Band” shirt after i get christmas money…

    shouldn’t you have the website somewhere on the shirt, like across the back or something? i’d love to billboard for you.

    • Nick Wright says:

      Welcome, and glad you’re liking it!

      The way I figure it, if you’re buying a shirt from me I’m not going to force you to bear my advertising as well. If you want to help, just make sure to name drop the comic if anyone compliments/asks about the shirt!

  13. MeestaShane says:

    Any chance on having that I ♥ turtles tee up by tomorrow?

  14. Wes says:

    I remember when River City Ransom first came out. Me and my buddy rented it and pretty much slaved over it for a weekend. We developed a little inside joke we used for years after that.

    “Hey, stop the fight so I can eat a cookie!”

  15. Darrell says:

    I decided to start re-reading the comic to brush up on the history a little when I came across this one: and realized the ‘floordrobe’ comment would make an awesome shirt.

  16. MeestaShane says:

    Lastly, got the shirts yesterday, and wore the “band” shirt to work today. Got a shitton of complis, and they came on the day as expected. Tomorrow – zombie! Thanks again, Nick, for making kickass shirts and for letting all of us know of a great shipping deal!

    Also, pics available upon request.

  17. Lazerith says:

    I’d buy one that said “Lesbians, The other other OTHER white meat” XD
    Also found the comic. by weeks end, i’ll get the spartan shirt wahahah

  18. Mike says:

    The poster in the background with Jason floating in space, I would totally pay for one of my own. A shirt is good too. Any chance of that happening?

  19. Andy says:

    Dude I would love a shirt that has a CD player that sat “FEED ME A STRAY CAT!” on it that would be SWEET!

  20. GolfHammer says:

    sorry to get all pushy on you, but there f@cking MUST BE an Undead Teen Mothers Tee!

  21. flammablehippie says:

    Any chance of 4Xl or larger shirts? Im larger than 3X. Please Nick?

    • Nick Wright says:

      When you click on these designs, there’s usually a second page. Check there!

      If not, let me know. I thought I’d managed to make 4XL versions of each shirt available, but I could have unintentionally skipped one.

  22. indoninja32 says:

    just wondering if you made shirts with individual strips on them. hit me up sometime

  23. The Negro Guy says:

    The Negro Guy is gonna need a couple of those Spartan Condoms…giggity…

  24. noname says:

    I live in England. How much does it cost to get one sent out here?

  25. Donbot3k says:

    Just ordered the Spartan and undead teenage mothers. Can’t wait to get them, what genre do UTM play? I’m thinking a mix between Punk Metal and Punk Ska.

  26. Drew Linky says:

    I hope we get character shirts sometime soon. I will definitely order one.

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