There's Always Room

There’s Always Room

Hey, you said to show some store spirit.

And to the gelatin cognoscenti out there, yes, he brought a lot of ice.


{ Submitted by Sean Connery on June 7, 2011 7:34 pm }

Jimi: Is that a kiddie pool full of Jello?

Arne (filling the pool with water): You’re damn right it is.

Jimi (skeptical): You seriously think someone is going to use that?

Arne: Ever hear of the stripper pole principle?

Jimi: The what?

Arne (explaining): Put a stripper pole up near any group of average women and they’re invariably drawn to it. They think its funny at first, but before you know it they’re really into it and you’ve got a free show. I’m betting this works the same.

Jimi (still skeptical): Eh. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Bill (concerned): This will be frowned upon by corporate.

Arne (brushing it off, still filling the pool with water): Relax, I used Food Baron brand gelatin.

Posted on April 4, 2011 at 12:00 am in Treading Ground. Follow responses to this post with the comments feed. You can leave a comment.

103 Responses

  1. RotSman says:

    Is…is that a REAL THING? You know, that we could DO? O_O

  2. DamnItMinty says:


  3. DamnItMinty&RotSman says:

    Third then -,-‘

  4. Shannon says:

    Doesn’t it need to be refrigerated?

  5. greenboy2004 says:

    You have to admit the logic is infallable

    1. create pool of jello
    2. ?
    3. Profit

  6. TheEsquire says:

    What corporate doesn’t know what hurt them. After working in a grocery store for many a year, trust me on that one… :P

    Works the other way around too. We got our store manager forced out of our store because we all hated him and he didn’t actually do any work. 90% of the employees pointed a blaming finger at him during the anonymous surveys for employees. The results were hilarious.

  7. Interest says:

    Well as long as it’s the Food Baron brand, it makes it all right I suppose. I wonder what color the jello it is? I am going to guess standardized green or yellow or something.

    More to the point though, where did Nate get a hose to begin with? It would be have to be a pretty long hose to fill a pool that far away.

  8. MCBromance says:

    lol thats win….a pool of win… unless Pervis (was it Purvis…is that even his name..) goes in it… if he even makes it there

    • TheEsquire says:

      It showed him working at the Food Baron with the manager babysitting the store a few strips back, so unless he hijacks a car and drives there in the middle of his shift, I doubt that will happen.

    • Purvis says:

      No, his name is quite definitely NOT Purvis. That’s me.

  9. Ghost says:

    I have seen evidence of this principle first-hand: I was attending a friend’s 18th birthday party, which was being held in the bard behind her house. There happened to be a row of metal poles holding up the front of the barn, and all except two of the girls started swinging and dancing around them. It was, of course, aided by the fact it was a rave party (and therefore had brightly coloured flashing lights), and half of them were drunk.

    It was not the best party for me: raves are not of any interest to me because of the style of music, the lights and the drunk people everywhere (I was one of the two NOT pole-dancing or drunk). I would much prefer a tea party where the people attending were able to remember what happened on the night.

  10. Madison says:

    Question: Does Bill’s apron really say “Kiss the cock”?

  11. Nikki says:

    hehe…. I loved that one!

  12. Mujaki says:

    I thought you had to dissolve the gelatin in hot/boiling water before chilling it to set.

    • 32_footsteps says:

      The water doesn’t have to be boiling – it’s just recommended so that the gelatin dissolves faster.

      Also, it doesn’t have to set perfectly for these purposes. In fact, a soft set is much more preferred.

      Am I the only one who feels that this is foreshadowing for a catfight that will invariably end up in the “Food Baron-brand gelatin” pool?

    • Plasmo says:

      I think if it’s instant jello you don’t have to. I really don’t know though I haven’t made jello in a while.

  13. Greenwood Goat says:

    Well, well, well.

    Paddling pool: check.

    Jello: check. All right, it was own brand rather than out of date (not necessarily a good thing for the participants!).

    Arne instigating: check.

    All we need now is for Miranda and Tracy to be the first to get it on (concerning Nate), and all my predictions will be verified!

    I hope you brought enough beer and natchos, Kessog. >:=)>

    On that note, I will admit that I was envisioning a more intimate event, but we shouldn’t think small, and this way is better.

    (cue Ride of the Valkyries)

    Miranda and Tracy and Rose and Nina and Beth: Grunt! Glop! Squelch!

    Paddling pool: Rrriipp!

    Jello: Splurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp…..

    Arne: Shit!

    Rose: Damn!

    Tracy: Draw?

    Miranda: Shares?

    Tracy and Rose and Nina and Beth: Sure! (they all look at Nate, cut to porno music)

    Nate: No!

    Miranda and Tracy and Rose and Nina and Beth: Glomp!

    Nate: Help! (he wriggles out from between them, minus his trousers)

    Miranda and Tracy and Rose and Nina and Beth: Nate! (they run after him, Ride of the Valkyries resumes)

    (Or Yackety Sax if you prefer. I’m not fussy.)

    Hang on, what have I forgotten… ah, yes.

    Mermaid: Hey!

    All: Huh?!

    Nate: Saved! (dives in)

    (cut to underwater shot and La petite fille de la mer)

    • Sir Bouncealot says:

      It seems someone has too much free time on their hands.

      • Greenwood Goat says:

        Whereas some only seem to have the time (and the inclination) to snipe and pick at the comments already made, don’t appear to have anything to say about, y’know, the cartoon strip at the top of the page and seem to contribute little that is amusing, diverting or original in the process. On which subject, Anya from the Buffy series, already did the whole leporiphobia schtick, and, IMHO, carried it off a lot better. Ah well, we can only strive to improve. >:=\>

        • Sir Bouncealot says:

          I don’t have leporiphobia, and I’ve seen all of about 3 episodes of Buffy. I actually, honestly, hate bunnies with a passion(Only Partially because of my belief that they will one day rule the world.). I actually have the same deep hatred of Squirrels, the fuzzy bastards eat EVERYTHING. I just want the fuckers to stop EATING MY HOUSE. Well, rented house anyway. I still have to pay for that shit. Смерть зайчики!!!

          Besides, I care not if I amuse you, I need only amuse myself.

          • SnideWizard says:

            If that were truly the case, wouldn’t you be doing a lot less commenting and a lot more talking to yourself?

          • Greenwood Goat says:

            I didn’t say you had leporiphobia, I said that Anya from Buffy employed it to better comedic effect. >:=)> And now that you bring up the subject of sciuriphobia, I have to say that Amy Hardwood (AKA “The Shadow”) from the Blackadder the Third episode Amy and Amiability employed that to better comedic effect too.

            And the whole “random put-downs” schtick? It hardly needs saying: lots and lots of examples by a great many people, all deployed to better comic effect.

    • Kessog says:

      Found a bucket o’ salsa to go with the keg of beer and carton of chips.

  14. Animeman says:

    And hilarity, and hopefully, more sexiness ensues…but on to the more important question….why no TNG comment? Perhaps he is gone for the weekend?

  15. Gavin says:

    Eagerly awaiting arrival of said strippers.

    • The Negro Guy says:

      The Negro Guy says you look like you are. Actually, scratch that, you look like you’re about to bust-a-nut.

  16. Anti-Semi- Er I Mean says:


  17. Ginger says:

    Yeah, but I’m betting the Food Baron gelatin doesn’t set as well as Jell-O. Like Hydrox cookies are never really as good as Oreos.

    • MJSox says:

      ”Hydrox” cookies? What, they made with Hydroxy-cut? or something. Sounds like it’d be powerdy, dry, and bland. like trying to scarf down flower and asperin.

  18. BriGuy says:

    Food Baron Brand Gelatin! Causing beachside babes to lose their inhibitions for over 50 years!

  19. Ray says:

    I”m surprsised tp not see comments from the negro guy.. hmmm. Yea like I would strip on a pole….. for free. psshhh and jello? ewwwww I’m a vegetarian so I wouldn’t even touch the stuff.. Well I did today cause I was making fondant for cup cakes( which are for other people). Other than that though keep that shizz away from me.

  20. Taco says:

    no one else sees the black tape over the 2nd “o” making it kiss the cock?

  21. Wes says:

    The above stated principle is fact. I have seen it in effect with a vacant Twister mat. Exultation changed to revulsion as the clueless fat Christian guy came over and asked to play. Fucker.

  22. Matthew Henry says:

    I think I can see where this is going. It goes hand-in-hand with an earlier prediction I made.

  23. Tim says:

    Just as a word of warning – the dye from jello lasts a long time on the skin. A green tint, say from coloring used for Halloween, can last WEEKS…

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